Thursday, June 20, 2013

Diving In...again

So I said "goodbye" and I meant it. But sometimes "goodbye" isn't forever, we all know that. It's that way with all things in life, sometimes for the better and other times we only wish they were gone for good. Like the flash backs and nightmares of PTSD. The exhaustion, depression, sleeplessness, worry, anxiety and fear. That feeling of just wanting to go to sleep...they're baaaaccckkk, unfortunately.

It's been a while since I last wrote but not quite as long since I've been having to deal with these issues. So much has happened since then, abusers have passed away, more memories have surfaced, most of these things without much todo, believe it or not. For the most part I've dealt really well with the issues that have come and gone, until lately.

All of the sudden I feel as though I've been hit by a train. Left reeling...without sufficient words or energy even with which to type this now. I felt it only fair to myself, if no one else, not to leave this blog as "complete" when it certainly isn't. Until we are dead, our story is never complete. Thankfully, I'm still kicking, loving my life, my husband and my children more than ever and wondering if there will ever come a day where they will look back and have some form of understanding for what I was going through on days like today. Of course, I don't want them to be able to relate, only to empathize and learn to show love for others that are going through things like this.

I am grateful to be on the next step of this healing journey through this blog because it gives me great insight into my soul.

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