I was in a room, next to my husband on a couch and I put on a headset. The headset played really relaxing music that transfered from one ear to the other. Then I held a small rectangular object in each hand. Those two sensors (or whatever they are called) distribute a gentle vibration incrementally, from one hand to the next.
Before this process began, I had already given her information from my past. Based on that information she was able to determine that my core issues are betrayal and the fear that someone is going to hurt me. She then gave me a mental still picture and those words associated with it, to juggle in my head.
I did that while the music was playing from left to right in my ears and while the sensors in my hands were vibrating as well. Then I stopped and she gave me more word associations.
So that's the short of what happened last night. The experience wasn't frightening for me, it was much more matter of fact. There were tears involved, I won't lie, and it was mentally draining but I wasn't scared to be there or scared to continue. I was to see images of certain people...not replay events. She's also taught me this thing called "safe place" where I can escape anytime I need to. It consists of vivid visualizations as well as some deep breathing and really helps to calm me down when I need it.
When the treatment was over, I wanted to do more. The faster I can get through this, the better in my mind but alas, time was up.
So betrayal and fear are my triggers. It's amazing looking back at that and where it derived from and recognize how it's still effecting my everyday life. We realized that even when prince charming goes out of town on business, I feel dumped, deserted and betrayed. I immediately flip to being angry with him. Anger is a secondary emotion. Did you know that?
Anytime I am angry, I have to have been hurt in order for it to turn into anger. So the next time you're furious with another person, stop and ask yourself what the primary emotion was and then try to work with that emotion. One way to do that is to simply stop and say "what you said really just hurt my feelings" or "could you try to re-word that next time so it doesn't come out so hurtful?" Realizing that anger is secondary and looking to find the primary emotion will be a huge asset in dealing with anyone, family, friends or co-workers, even strangers in the future.
Betrayal and fear, I have to find a new response to those two emotions. I'll be working on that and let you know how it goes. Until then...
I did that while the music was playing from left to right in my ears and while the sensors in my hands were vibrating as well. Then I stopped and she gave me more word associations.
So that's the short of what happened last night. The experience wasn't frightening for me, it was much more matter of fact. There were tears involved, I won't lie, and it was mentally draining but I wasn't scared to be there or scared to continue. I was to see images of certain people...not replay events. She's also taught me this thing called "safe place" where I can escape anytime I need to. It consists of vivid visualizations as well as some deep breathing and really helps to calm me down when I need it.
When the treatment was over, I wanted to do more. The faster I can get through this, the better in my mind but alas, time was up.
So betrayal and fear are my triggers. It's amazing looking back at that and where it derived from and recognize how it's still effecting my everyday life. We realized that even when prince charming goes out of town on business, I feel dumped, deserted and betrayed. I immediately flip to being angry with him. Anger is a secondary emotion. Did you know that?
Anytime I am angry, I have to have been hurt in order for it to turn into anger. So the next time you're furious with another person, stop and ask yourself what the primary emotion was and then try to work with that emotion. One way to do that is to simply stop and say "what you said really just hurt my feelings" or "could you try to re-word that next time so it doesn't come out so hurtful?" Realizing that anger is secondary and looking to find the primary emotion will be a huge asset in dealing with anyone, family, friends or co-workers, even strangers in the future.
Betrayal and fear, I have to find a new response to those two emotions. I'll be working on that and let you know how it goes. Until then...
No comments:
Post a Comment